1. THE AMAZEMENT STAGE: This is the “wow” stage. Lots of new
things to discover with your spouse. The newness, the freshness is
so amazing. Sleeping on the same bed, wearing the same attire,
cooking for him, doing house chores with her, bathing together.
Wearing your dazzling wedding ring everywhere, turning people’s
head as the newest couple around. Loads and lots of fun. Sexual
exploration and excitement. Being in control of your kitchen,
feeding him and lots more. It’s the honeymoon stage and it’s so so
2. THE IRRITATION STAGE: This is when you begin to notice
weaknesses you have overlooked or blissfully wish they go away
but didn’t. The repetition of such weaknesses begins to work on
your nerves and you are getting irritated: he snores a lot, she is
slow in the kitchen, she belches loudly, he screams unnecessarily,
she won’t bathe before coming to bed or shave, he spends many
hours watching football and ignores you when you talk. “What’s
just wrong with this guy?” You think aloud, well it’s part of
3. THE ANGER STAGE: This is when the repetition of such
weaknesses gets on your nerves and you display your anger. The
introverted partners stuffs it in and either keep malice, avoid you or stubbornly continue with the irritating habit. It’s the stage you
begin to wonder: “have I really married the wrong guy?” “Have I
married the wrong woman?” No, you did not, you are simply going
through a phase together.
4. THE RESOLUTION STAGE: When you both begin to face the
reality of marriage and acknowledge your partner’s weaknesses.
You eventually realize anger and malice does not solve any
problem and begins to find ways to deal with your differences,
both of you begin to compromise here and there and adjust to
5. THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE: When it dawned on you that some
things are just part of your partner and may never change till
Jesus comes. You resigned from anger, abuse and quarrel and
choose to accept them, lovingly adjust to them and enjoy them
regardless of their weaknesses.
6. THE RESTFUL STAGE: This is the stage you permanently accept
them with all their strengths, weaknesses, short comings and
flaws and love them unconditionally regardless of what they do.
This is real love -agape, divine and true. You reconnect emotionally,
spiritually and physically at a deeper level and enjoy honey moon
again while building a lasting marriage regardless of the
challenges you face.
There is no perfect marriage. Every marriage goes through this
stages. How you handle it will determine if you will come out bitter
You don’t have to abuse your spouse or keep malice if Christ is at
the centre of your home and you obey the word of God daily.
Nevertheless, do not be disappointed if you go through the
unpleasant stages in marriage. It is a phase and will surely end.
Handle your marriage with wisdom and keep loving regardless of
the challenges you face. That is what will make your marriage a
heaven on earth experience.