Giving your kids expensive life is good, but these 6 things are more valuable

Some years ago, I had told myself that I’d get married only when I
became a millionaire because I wanted to be able to afford the
very best of everything for my children. The best schools, the best
vacation experiences, the best location option etc.
But I’ve come to realise that though these things are good to
provide your children, they aren’t the ultimate.
The best things you can give your children are:
1. An open mind and listening ear – A lot of our parents weren’t
approachable to us. We couldn’t tell them our deepest thoughts
and such relationship affected us more than we realise. It takes a
special grace to change that relationship and make it more elastic.
It’s in my older years that I learnt how to talk to my mother about
everything, cry when I’m hurting and get angry if I feel so. We
might not agree but we certainly understand each other better.
2. Observant eye – It’s right under the noses of parents that the
worst things happen to their children. From sexual child abuse to
initiation into gayism, cultism, drug abuse etc. A lot of parents
aren’t observant and are quite negligent. It doesn’t matter that
you’re working hard for the child. Children are like plants. You
water them, remove weeds, nurture them closely. A good farmer
would never overlook any plant in his garden. Each plant is
scrutinized for changes, improvement, fruitfulness etc.
3. Sacrifice – “I work hard for my children”. Nope! You’re working
for yourself as well. That’s not sacrifice. True sacrifice can mean
changing jobs/business to ensure one of you is closer to the home
and children. Do not sacrifice your children’s security for your job
and think you’re doing them a favour because you can send them
to Paris twice a year.
4. Discipline – This can come in various forms. It doesn’t always
require a cane. Sometimes you use firm but gentle words, privilege
withdrawals, grounding or time out. Raising your children without
discipline will affect the child and not you or others. The world will
not treat your child as you do. So groom your child to fit into
society positively. Ndi “I don’t beat my kids”, if you won’t use the
rod then ensure whatever means you use works because no one is
obligated to coddle your children. To those parents who hit first
then ask questions later, you’re only raising a person that would
have a strong back and a stronger heart. Be careful with the rod. It
shouldn’t be employed always.
5. Spiritual guidance – This is highly essential. A person without
morals is no better than an animal. Our morals are largely based
on our spiritual inclinations. So raising your child with your Faith in
view and as a guide is the perfect way to go. It’s not enough to
teach your child how to recite The Lord’s Prayer. It’s more
important to teach your child to speak to God in his/her own voice
and way. It’s not enough to tell them what the Bible says they
shouldn’t do. It’s more important to explain why they shouldn’t do
those things, for the wages of sin is death.
6. Parent versus Friend – There should be a thin line between being
their friend and being their parent. A friend will see you do evil and
might ignore you or join you. A parent would rebuke or punish you.
Know when to be a friend and when to be a parent. Be a friend
when they need to be heard and to express their feelings. Be a
parent when they err and are straying from the path you started
them on.
In conclusion, a Nigerian child who speaks with a British intonation
learnt in school is not more intelligent, wholesome, creative,
trustworthy than the one with a thick native accent. Raising
children is not all about a fine education, fine clothes, overseas
travel and good food. It’s about moulding the child’s thoughts,
words, actions and personality into a godly form to ensure that he/
she would impact on their environment positively in their
adulthood.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he
will not depart from it.” ~ Proverbs 22:6

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3 Comments

  1. Good update

  2. Ok

  3. Good

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