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HILARIOUS JOKES OF THE WEEK

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… Hbb<b>1. Some of you have been single for too long, and the only time you hear “BOO” is when you mess. May your story change in 2019 IJN.
2. The way some people used to quote psalm 23 with vim and moral nowadays ehhn… AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF SHADOW OF DEATH… i dey craze?? wetin carry me go there?
3. For Neymar to earn Euro 520,000 a week, and they keep deceiving us that education is the key… Well football is the master key, i hate rubbish
4.Sometimes when i’m watching wrestling, i begin to laugh… How can people without trousers be fighting for belt??
5. Men you have to stand up to your responsibilities ooo… You have to be ready to feed your women everyday. Because the last time a woman fed man in the garden of Eden, we lost our kingdom and we can’t afford to lose again.
6. Welcome to Nigeria where Jesus sends a message to you on whatsapp or facebook ” I AM JESUS SHARE THIS MESSAGE OR U DIE” and threatens to kill you if you don’t resend it to 5 groups and 20 people… God punish una
7. Man produces 53litres of sperm in his life time. Some of you reading this post are left with 3litres… I no go talk anything, but hope you know you have a well furnished cell in hell
8. U know you are watching nigerian movie When Ini Edo, a poor village girl is rejecting marriage proposal from a rich kid ‘Jim Iyke’ but madly in love with Desmond Elliot, an okada man.
9. U know you are watching nigerian movie when Someone flashes back to 1982 and behind him is a sign board “Vote for Goodluck” Hmmmm
10. When a bird hits your window, have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
11. Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL.Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
12. Someone told us that he will rescue all the missen chibok girls if elected as president. We elected him and now he is missen too… Abeg i didn’t mention any name oo
13. sum people can be really funny at times,wen u patiently waited for 364 days,and it now a day left to your birthday,u will now come on social media and be like,tomorrow is all about me, (CANT just wait)…if u can’t wait, go and die den, infact dat nonsense must stop mtcheeeeew
14. It sounds funny when short people try to remember their childhood and be like “when I was small” Like u are not still small leav me jaw
15. I don’t see any reason why I should eat meat or fish with fork and knife The animal is already dead,so why use weapons ??
16. IN MY NEXT WORLD, IF I MISTAKENLY HEAR “NIGERIA” IN MY MOTHER’S WOMB, I WILL JUST USE HER INTESTINE AND COMMIT SUICIDE.
WHAT NONSENSE….
17. some girls will b like,baby am sick, can u please send me mtn 1k?? what do u need airtime for,shey u wan to recharge ur sickness Dat nonsense must also stop!!!
18. Girls do not answer video calls after 8 PM Because there face has been restored to factory setting
19. Just because you bought an iphone7, you are pretending as if u don’t have handbag or pocket… If i say let thunder fire u now, people will say Boby is wicked
20. Girls are busy complaining that when men impregnate them, they run away. My question is when u score a goal, do u remain at the goalpost or run around celebratin??
21. I stopped watching nollywood movies when i heard a blind man saying “I’M HAPPY TO SEE YOU SON”
22. Even if u’re ugly as hell when you have money, women will always find something cute on you like. They will be like: “Awwww he has nice finger prints”…..or “Awwww he has such a cute shadow”. Girls of nowadays sha ?
23. Girls that plait Ghana weaving with Brazilian wool on their Nigerian hair… Come let’s talk! How do you survive with three nations on ur head ?
24. Boy: From the day I met u, I m not able to eat, drink or smoke…
Girl: How sweet, so u r madly in LOVE with me..
Boy: SHUT UP..!! U made my pocket empty
25. Have you ever been next to people who gossip so much that you’re even scared of leaving them cause you know you will be the next topic? ???
26.If you call an African mother’s phone once, then you’re not serious about having that conversation.1st call is for her to locate her handbag.,2nd call is to dig into the hand bag and locate the phone.,3rd call to bring out glasses.,4th call to check Caller’s id.,5th to answer…. But why??
27. If you want to Know if a girl has strength , try removing her trouser when She Knows She is wearing a dirty pant.??
28. Slim Girls who go for jogging at dawn. Sister, What do you want to lose again? Your life?
29. So you mean Satan was in the garden alone with Eve who was naked and all he could think of is to deceive her to eat an Apple????
That nigga is gay!!!
30. Thirty-five (35) years old first class graduate without job and you are following Lil’Wayne sing, I aren’t got no worries, your life is on SOS.
31. 5000 people follow u on Facebook,3000 on Twitter,4000 On Instagram,7000 on Snapchat, Yet no man wants to follow u to your Father`s house? Sister check your settings?? SOMETHING IS WRONG SOMEWHERE
32. Very soon MTN will be Like, ”Do you know there are people in your village that don’t want you to succeed? Quickly text “thunder fire them”to 33505, 50 Naira a week.
33. Dating a Jehovah’s witness girl is the most Economical Relationship ever…..
just buy her a trekking shoe …You have win her heart If you want to kill her with Love, buy her also an Umbrella
…She will melt for you. Now, If you want to bury her in love… Buy her a bag ??
34. Screaming during Sex is romantic and its not a problem. The problem is Shouting words like; “JESUS: OOH MY GOD: HOLY MARY”. U’re having Sex, Not a Church Service. And besides i don’t know if u’re reminding God to Punish you Later.
35. When guys are desperate for sex, you will hear them say: Let me rub only tip, let me brush the top. Today i just heard something new, “please let me enter, i won’t move.
36. I posted a joke earlier this week and a girl commented that ” My prince BOBO u are very funny… I HATE RUBBISH which one is bobo again?? do i look like milk?? No wonder… she’s even a slay queen
37. . If a girl dumps you because you don’t have money and after you have made money. She comes back begging.My brother, Forgive her… Promise her marriage… Tell her family that you want to renovate their house… Remove their roof and DISAPPEAR…. thank me later

7 Comments

  1. Hahahhahahah.

  2. very funny

  3. Lol

  4. Funny

  5. Great

  6. Abin Yayi

  7. Ok

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