Marriage advise to men

My marriage is 36 years and I am 65 years old. My wife is 56
years, and I am still married to the same woman. We have been
through ups and downs and we are still together. Not that we are
perfect, but we choose to keep our marriage, forgive each other,
keep loving one another and stay together to train our kids. Two of my
sons are married, same as 2 of my daughters, remaining one. I
have 5 kids. Everybody deserves attention be it man or woman. In
marriage, women are the people that need the most attention from
their husbands. When a man neglects his wife, he ruins his
marriage.
A lonely woman is a big prey. A lot of marriages these days crash
because of this. It happened in my marriage and I drove my wife to
have an affair outside. I was very young then, told her all sorts of
hurtful things, that I can marry as many as I want, though was
using those words to scare her and I was very domineering back
then. Before I could get back to my senses, she was deep in it and
I had to fight to get back my jewel, I apologized to her and forgave
myself as well. A lot of women who are cheating today never
planned to cheat in their respective marriages, but their husbands
life style and negligence drove them to it. All a woman wants is
your attention, care and see her jumping mountains to keep you in
check.
The reason God made marriage is for a man and woman to be
each other companion and shelter, for a man and woman to be
there for each other, not for one person to be outside by 10pm and
one inside waiting endlessly for the other to return. There should
be no secret in marriage at all. Lay all cards on the table. When
one person starts hiding stuff, the loop holes in marriages are
gradually pilling up and it’s hitting a rock. A man who is outside by
11pm, how does he want his wife to feel? At that time for couples
are cuddling times not torch lighting time waiting for car horns and
the rest.
Some men who complain their woman nags, did she nag during
courtship? If she was a nagger during that time, you won’t have
married her. You pushed her to nagging with your promiscuous
behavior. You call what she does nagging, but no she is not
nagging, she is trying to pass an information across to you.
Women are not our slaves, stop treating them like you purchased
them. No they are not. They are human being, same with you.
Treat them with respect.
The moment a woman who you are married to doesn’t care what
you do and where you go, that is the minute your marriage is dead
gone and you don’t know it. Sometimes when I see young able
bodied men, newly wedded seated at the bar, say they will replace
their wives as if she is some piece of rag, I ponder and ask, the
one you will replace her with, is she better than the one you got
married to? You never treated the one you first got married to
right, and want to let in another?
A responsible woman can be pushed to have an affair, yes that is
very possible. Let’s not hide under the notion of a virtuous woman
doesn’t cheat no matter the storm she faces in her marriage, that
is double faced lies. When a woman demand for attention and care
and she doesn’t get, when she gets to her saturation point, the
heavens too won’t judge her. Every human being on earth has a
saturation point. Let’s not beat women to a box, asking them to
remain faithful when we men are not doing anything possible to
keep them sane in our marriages. The rate of cheating amongst
women is alarming these days. We men is our turn to fight to keep
our wives whole and give them the attention they crave for. If you
know you are not doing what you are supposed to do as a man, go
back to the drawing board.
This message is not to justify women cheating but to correct
impressions of some men who think it’s just the role of a woman
who lacks attention to remain faithful in her marriage. If you don’t
water your plants and weed your farm, another farmer(man) will
weed them in a way you won’t like, some negative farmers will not
only weed but they will collect the entire land, re-construct it for
their own benefit and even build on it, thereby giving you children
that aren’t yours.
So, men should learn to be a good farmers in their marriage. If you
offend your wife, don’t wait for her to apologize on your behalf, a
lot of men will offend their wives and still expect the woman to
apologize, making her a fool. That is so wrong. When you are
wrong, admit it and apologize immediately. Don’t do a lip service,
let her see you are truly sorry, women are no fools, they know
when a man is apologizing from his heart of hearts.

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2 Comments

  1. Very good one

  2. Ok

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