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I used to interpret the saying
“Marriage is not for small boys” to mean small boys in terms of
age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for
47 years. I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years in
marriage? Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations you
bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married
my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying
cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing
attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our
children and all that. You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging
in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home.
If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable.
So, I married without high expectations from my husband but
simply to make him happy always. Yes, for the past 47 years, I
would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to
bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for
my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes
he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily
endeavours. I asked my old woman, so then what does the man do
in return? She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see,
this is the mistake you young ones make in marriage. YOU DO
your attitude to only please your husband or wife always, the other
person responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm
tree, it doesn’t rattle. She continued, my son, never carry “how rich
or poor your family is” into marriage. After all, you knew very well
the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman.
Love only compels/leads would-be couples into marriage but it
doesn’t sustain marriage. Rather, understanding, patience,
communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every
marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in
marriages. Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a
business partner, God fearing person etc. You cannot get all your
expectations in one person. With time and depending on your
relationship, you may get some. So minimise your expectations in
marriage. To cut the long story short, as too many cooks spoil the
broth, she concluded on the mistakes a couple should resist at all
cost in marriage:
1) Never say you have made your wife or
husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God only used you as
an agent for transformation, give the glory to God.
2) Let the man
be head of the home no matter the financial, economic, physical
and emotional health situation prevailing in the couple’s life whilst
the woman exercises diligence in the use of the tongue.
3) Having
children should not be the ultimate objective in marriage. They are
given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a
child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.
4) Resort to God
often and less to men to solve your marital disputes.
5) Let the
women ” Make up” their characters much more than they make up
their body. Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because small
boys struggle to forgive, demand everything speedily, lack the
patience to wait, have so many friends etc. Make every effort to let
that marriage work and may God help us.

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  1. Yeah people aught to know

  2. Ok

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