Oh the things I wish I knew before now!
It was in secondary school
We all were young and inexperienced about life.
She held a part in my heart and I cherished her
Prior to secondary school days, I knew her.
And on this day she told me something I will not forget
Not in a hurry
She said..
“Kipazze, you are very proud”
It came out of nowhere
To say I was shocked is to say the least.
Pride was a word that never existed in my vocabulary
I was silent as I watched her in horror.
I sat back down… and demoralised, I asked her
“Why would you think that?”
“Because your father is a doctor”
I sat, mouth agape, starring in complete disbelieve
That the one I called friend, could think of me like this
I had no reason whatsoever to be proud
Working for the state government
And just getting into a double numbered grade
I knew that dad could not afford the luxury I would have wanted at the time
But she didn’t know that.
She thought I had it all
I sat and wondered what it was she felt I had that she didn’t
Her father worked at a big organisation himself.
“Give me an instance” I was finally able to say
As our other friend seconded her opinion of me
They both couldn’t think of one off the top of their heads
“We’ll let you know if we remember or if you ever act like that again” they said.
Years later, we all walked out the main entrance
The entrance we all used individually on our first day of school
And they still couldn’t remember what I did to make them tag me ‘proud’
I also didn’t do any ‘proud’ stuff in the years that passed
So I knew it had to be a misdiagnosis.
Years after school, I was chatting with mum
About her, but not on this issue, I said how her father swims in millions
“Why would you think that?” Mum asked
I said because the company he works for does
Then mum told me..
As I sat there, I found the answer to the question that bugged my heart for years
Her father was employed as either a handy man or a messenger
Can’t remember which
And then I came to know about psychological projection
When people defend themselves against their unconscious impulses
By denying their existence in themselves
And attributing it to someone else.
There I knew, that it was a projection.
She had so exalted herself when her father got this new role
Most didn’t know what the job entailed, me included
Pride was fast becoming her watchword
An unconscious quality
And she projected it, and called me ‘it’
Today, we are no longer close friends
But we are not enemies either
Because they are NOT bad people
It was just what it was
A psychological projection of who she truly was
Today, I am glad that I know about it
And I know not to answer such people.
Because they lurk in these dark places
Waiting and hoping that not to be true
So they project!


  1. P


  2. S

    Good update

  3. I

    That really

  4. I

    I think so

  5. V


  6. T


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