Last night, I slept on the hard concrete leather carpeted floor in my room. I will tell you why in a bit. ****Now, discontinue reading this if you have any love for reptiles please.****
So, my dad and I had a ‘battle of words’ last year, when he told me I was a girl and shouldn’t live alone. I argued, “To live like that is not to live at all. I can’t live in my father’s house and wait for ‘husband’ to come and then move in with him. I refuse to live like that daddy. I want my own place.”
He said it was dangerous to live alone as a young lady, ‘dishonourable’ and ‘loose’ were the words he used and said Nigerians will think of ladies in such manner. He agreed that it wasn’t true of a lady living by herself, but he said it was what society thought. The argument continued from the days prior to the 2.5hrs journey to another city on one September day and then he gave his blessings, grudgingly.
But with what happened last night, I may be considering moving back to the family house.
I was reading a book and had opened my window for some fresh air, cross ventilation is always good when reading plus a glass of juice, orange juice preferably or mixed fruit smoothie. Anything with passion fruit in it is my favourite – so if I come visiting, offer me a drink with passion fruit in it and I may return. Any hoo, it was beginning to get dark and so I stretched my hands behind the net window and shut the windows so mosquitoes could not enter. I continued reading.
Then I heard it.
A noise.
It wasn’t the familiar one I was used too, the noise of a bird flapping its wings by my window every morning. I have grown to like that bird, it comes to my window most mornings unfailingly and instead of being ‘Nigerian’ and binding and casting the innocent bird, I remembered my window was a two way mirror. I could see the bird from the inside but he only saw himself in my window-cum-bird mirror. SO, it is always trying to fight the other bird (himself) in the mirror. I just watch and laugh.
Last night however, I was surprised to hear noise by the window, and wondered why the bird was coming at night, that wasn’t its routine. Lo and behold, it wasn’t a bird, it was a wall gecko that latched itself on my window; when I flashed the light, I could see its bulging eyes staring at me. I would have fainted o, but I thought if I did, it might climb on my body and dance azonto.
What to do?
I hate geckos, I loathe crocodiles even though I come proudly from a state named after them. I hate lizards, gators and the other lizard-like ones whose bodies look slimy sleeky- ish. I don’t know what they are called but they usually have pretty patterns on them, they are called ‘kulba’ in Hausa.
Anyway sha, see me see gecko o. I prayed for Jesus to help me o. I went outside and noticed my security light attracted many insects and so the gecko came to eat them. I slid the window outside, wait wait wait, not with my hands o, with a mop stick. I saw it peeking at me, I screamed ‘obara Jesus’. I came back inside, and hit my curtain so hard I knew it scared it away. So I shut my window and changed my nighty ~ because I was already sweating ~ and sat down to read my book…………. Peek-a-boo! Gecko was looking at me again.
Obara Jesus!
Gecko didn’t go o. Widows were locked, what to do?
Warning: Stop reading here o, I am warning you, exit this post if you love geckos or the reptile family.
I turned on my gas and warmed water, because of fear-fear the water was not hot sef. I splashed Mr Gecko o. Chai, fear do me strong thing yesterday sha.
Gecko danced azonto and I poured again, my bed was wet, my window and curtains were dripping water. I didn’t see gecko again o.
Somebody say aha aha! God works in mysterious ways I tell you.
Just then, my heaven sent neighbour was going out for a smoke. I called him o. After laughing hysterically and telling me what I did was animal abuse ~ which I am not proud of ~ he saw Mr gecko hiding behind the window ~ aren’t those little creatures just resilient? ~ he pulled it and threw it away. Halleluyah, God has done it again in my life.
But fear, somebody fear! Fear could not let me sleep on the bed o, because it was close to the window the gecko was. I mean just in case he was there with his friend. I do not want stories that touch the heart o. I left my well made bed and laid on the very hard floor.
Someone tell me how to ward off geckos in my house or I may go with my tails between my legs ~ as a prodigal daughter ~ and ask to be accepted back home, only that there will be no party for this prodigal daughter.
I have made a decision, this is the third time geckos made me loose sleep. One time I slept on a couch and woke up to severe neck and back pains.
Operation kick the gecko out. Somebody help a sister in need.
Please don’t tell me I was mean to that poor little gecko, because I opened my window and gave it a chance to run. I hope the gecko forgives me!
Let me get some sleep abeg.


  1. Good

  2. OK

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