Should I go for sex toys?

Dear Bunmi,

I’m in my late 60s and lost my husband two years ago.  I haven’t had sex since his death and I miss having orgasms.  I’m now toying with the idea of using a dildo — I have even visited a few sex apps abroad just to have a look.

Do you think I’m a bit too old for this sort of thing?  I wouldn’t want to do myself any physical damage.

SexPhilo, by e-mail.

Dear Philo,

You’re absolutely not too old for this sort of thing! As for doing yourself any harm, the opposite is the case. A dildo will massage your vagina, keeping you healthy down there, plus having orgasms will help you stay fit. So just do it!

As you haven’t had sex for a while, you may need to take things slowly and gently like any muscle, your vagina can suffer from lack of use. And, if you feel a bit dry, add some lubrication— you can use your own saliva, a specially designed lubricant from a chemist, or any unperfumed body oil.