We sometimes focus too much on superficial things we have in common with our partners, like having the same hobbies and interests. Those can be important, but they’re not the most important things. Here are 11 signs you and your partner aren’t as compatible as you think.
YOU’RE CHASING DIFFERENT FUTURES.It’s important to have your own dreams outside of the relationship—ones that aren’t about the goals you and your partner want to achieve together. Still, if your dreams seriously clash with your partner’s, that’s a sign you’re incompatible. Why would you want to be with someone who’s headed in such a different direction from you in life, whether physically or mentally? The relationship just won’t work.
2. YOU HAVE DIFFERENT VALUES.
Your values and moral codes must be in sync. Is your partner as honest and kind as you are? Does he value financial security over happiness or vice versa? If you value totally different things in life compared to your partner, it means you’re not prioritizing the same things, which can be a problem.
3. YOU DON’T MAKE HIM LAUGH.
People have said you’re really funny but your boyfriend never seems to get your humor. While this might not seem like a big deal, it’s troubling. Humor is so much more than just sharing a joke. It’s a way to bond and it’s a sign of a mental connection. If that’s lacking, you might feel that your partner just doesn’t get who you are, which sucks.
4. YOU’RE NOT LEARNING FROM EACH OTHER.
Your differences don’t always have to be problems. If you’re both open to the idea of learning from each other, you can enrich your relationship and become more compatible. If you or your partner aren’t willing to do this, however, then it’s a huge obstacle you probably won’t be able to overcome. You’re basically shutting down the chance to have a meaningful relationship.
5. YOU’RE NOT YOUR BEST SELF.
One of the biggest ways to check if you and your partner are compatible or not is to notice if you feel like your best self around them. If you find that you’re often censoring yourself or you don’t feel comfortable to be who you are around them, then you’re sabotaging your happiness and you’re definitely not with the right person.