Benson and his wife don’t sit next to each other during Church
Even when going to Church services, they go in different vehicles;
and when they travel in the same car, it is usually a very quiet and
uncomfortable ride.
Benson sat at his usual spot in the Church service; the fourth line
on the far left row. His wife sat on the center row.
The Pastor took to the podium.
“Husbands, stop wasting your time praying” the Pastor began.
The congregants got alarmed. No one expects to hear a pastor
saying prayer is a waste of time.
I am not here to discourage you to pray, but to encourage you to
pray right.
Husbands, stop wasting your time praying if you are not treating
your wives well.
You come to church driving your expensive cars, giving your
offerings and tithes, active in Church, some of you are Church
leaders; but how are you treating your wife?
You may look good to us Church members, but it is your wife and
children that know who you truly are” said the Pastor.
Benson turned to face his wife. She looked at him. Benson could
see her eyes.
Her left eye swollen from the blow he gave her last week when she
confronted him about his alcoholism, pornography use and
mischievous behavior.
People couldn’t tell she had a black eye because of the make up
she had on, so well done.
The Pastor continued, “People have perfected the art of cover up.
Here in Church, so many are hurting but you wouldn’t know.
People come here wearing their nice clothes, shiny smiles, they are
active in ministry but hurting a lot in their marriage.
“We have become numb and plastic, brushing things under the
carpet. But today we shall heal; and shall address those wounds
we hide.”
The Pastor cleared his throat and continued, “Many of those who
are hurting their spouses are using the church to hide.
They think that because they give offering s and tithes, because
they make public prayers, because they read the Word or because
they hold a Church leadership position that they are right with God.
God is also interested in what you do in your marriage and in your
The Word says that when you treat your wife badly, it hinders your
prayers. Men, you claim to be prayerful?
Hear this, “Your first ministry is your home. Stop trying to
blackmail God with your service in Church yet you are mean and
hurtful towards your spouse.”
Many of the members of the congregation got restless and
The Pastor continued, “Many of those who are being hurt by their
spouse hide their pain and want to project an image that all is well
to validate that they are blessed and in control.
Some of you are active in Church to run away from the pain in your
The congregation was silent. Some straightening their ties, others
fidgeting with their Bibles, adjusting their sitting position.
This pastor was preaching truth and it was uncomfortable.
The Pastor continued, “The husbands are not the only ones guilty
here… Wives, don’t you know the Bible says when your husband
found you he found good virtuous woman and you brought favour?
Then why are you the source of your husband’s headache and
stress? Have you been so toxic that you have turned your prayerful
husband into a prayer-less one?
Do you make him regret marrying you because you bring more
complications than he had before marrying you?
How you treat your husband can be a stumbling block in his walk
with God or an environment that encourages growth.
Many of you wives married your individual husbands primarily
because of their relationship with God, so why are you now
destroying their relationship with God instead of celebrating and
nurturing it?
Why are you being a burden to your husband emotionally,
spiritually, socially, sexually and financially instead of being one
who brings favour?”
Benson’s wife looked at her husband. Benson looked at her, and
she looked away.
The Pastor paused to drink his glass of water.
And he continued, “When I am thirsty, I drink a glass of water.
When your spouse gets thirsty, will you allow God to use you to
bless your spouse?
You’ve been told many sermons that focus on you as an individual,
that God will make you prosper as an individual.
I am here to tell you your blessings are tied to people, you are
blessed to be a blessing to others. Our God is not an individualistic
Your blessing is tied to your marriage, your family. It’s not about
you; it is about Jesus and Jesus is about love.
What good is it to prosper and be successful when you have no
love? It is all vanity.
God cares about your family, how you treat your spouse and
Silence. Silence. Silence…
“Yes, we pray. But what kind of prayers does your spouse pray
because of you?
When your spouse prays, is it largely to cry to God because of the
hurt you bring?
Is it to plead with God to change you from the monster you’ve
Is it to plead for grace to deal with how difficult you are? Or is to
give thanks for you?”
Silence. Silence as grave yard
“Are you really prayerful? Do you really value prayer? What is
Then why is it that many of you find it easy to come to us pastors
for us to pray with you as an individual, you find it is easy to pray
in public, in a Church service or Bible study, but find it so hard to
pray with your spouse?
Isn’t that telling of what is going on in your marriage? Don’t you
know that the more you pray with your spouse the stronger your
marriage will be?
But how can you find it easy to pray with a spouse you hurt or who
hurts you?”
The Pastor paused and looked at the congregation. Eyes staring at
“I challenge you. I challenge you to pray with your spouse and to
treat your spouse well. You must save your home, your marriage,
your love!
Husbands, you are the head of the home. I challenge you to stand
up and go to where your wife is and pray with her as a start of a
more prayerful chapter in your marriage.
Don’t do it because I asked you to but because you want to. Your
One by one, the husbands present stood up.
Benson stood up too.
Benson walked to where his wife was.
The face of Benson’s wife overwhelmed with love, she looked on
as her husband walked to her.
She almost stood up but he gave hand gestures at her to stay
Benson reached where she sat. Their eyes met.
Benson knelt down. He stared at her then kissed her swollen left
“I am sorry” he said.
“Can I pray with you?” He asked.
She got up from her seat and knelt down too.
There, on the floor as the Church service was still ongoing,
husbands prayed with their wives.
Benson prayed kneeling with his wife.
They prayed for forgiveness, for thanksgiving, for love, for
renewal, for peace, for direction; for their marriage.
Marriages were healed.

Can the south east (Igbo speaking tribe) produce the next Nigerian President come 2023?
Be the first to get updated. Subscribe to our newsletter


  1. Ok

  2. Hmm

  3. Ok

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Enter Captcha Here :